It’s widely known in foodie circles that if you want to get an immediate read on how good a chef is, ask them to make scrambled eggs. It’s a simple dish prone to missteps by chefs of all calibers, and these missteps – or lack thereof – will be what determines how good the final product is. Translated: there are many ways to fuck this up.
Now is a good time to tell you I can’t cook much of anything without setting my face on fire and/or destroying something my kitchen. But you should still listen to what I have to say about eggs, because you’re here reading this and there’s really no point in turning back now. If you left now you’d be a quitter, and nobody likes a quitter. Besides, look at that picture of eggs up there. Nice, huh?
I can tell you that my scrambled eggs of days past were, in a word, revolting. My secret trick was to overcook them massively, which yielded a fine plate of overdone, slightly browned egg mash, usually pulverized into approximately eleven thousand separate pieces because I dicked around with them too much. I’d serve a plate of small, round, brown eggoids, and everyone hated them. To be polite, they’d douse them with a quart of ketchup or Cholula or Frank’s Red Hot or Tabasco or fresh cat piss, choke them down, and remind themselves never to eat anything I cooked again. You could even put my eggs in front of a starving animal and it’d smell them, look at you with wide, forlorn eyes, and slumber outside to die instead.
But all of that has changed since discovering The One True Way. And if I can do this, you can too, and somewhere along the line people might stop hating you for your cooking.
This method isn’t easy, and it might cause carpal tunnel syndrome and/or whatever forearm muscles you have to burst out of your skin screaming in agony, but if you do it right, the eggs will be amazing.
This isn’t my method at all. In fact, it’s Gordon Ramsay’s recipe, and it’s a bit different than what you’re probably used to. Here’s an embedded media player that features moving pictures and sound:
You’re welcome. Try this, you won’t be sorry.
Have a great weekend.
Eggsellent 🤓😉